"Espresso! My Espresso!"
An Ongoing Internet Novelette
by Randy Glass - Copyright 2002 - All rights reserved
E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org
You Want Me To Drink That?
There is no question on alt.coffee that a certain commercial coffee chain sells products that a majority of us deem as second rate at best, and many consider them as bordering on undrinkable all together. This company sells a certain drink in a jar "available at a store near you" that passes for some sort of espresso-based, milk beverage. As in any company producing the thousands of gallons of this stuff that this particular chain does, there are bound to be some batches that cannot be sold for any on a number of reasons- contamination, improper dosing of the ingredients, and such.
So, what to do with the unuseable tens-of-thousands of gallons of this particular product? Send it to some foreign country as a tax deductible donation? Re-label it? No! I think a better use has been found! What color would you call this:
No, that's a joke. I didn't go to Starbucks for house paint. When we bought this paint when Home Base was going out of business, we hit them at the right time. Usually selling there for about $90 for 5 gallons (4.69 gallons, actually), with their closeout specials, we got three buckets (15 gallons) for around $70 total! We had them mix a color, showing them a paint chip and telling the guy to get as close as possible to it. At that price, we figured that any color other than international orange would be fine. After a year of on-and-off prep work (two major fires and a wet winter in between), I started putting the paint on the house the other day, and all I could think of when trying to come up with a name for the color was "Frappaccino"! Now, If I could just talk the wife into doing the trim in "Espresso" brown.